Highs and Lows

I have a great suggestion for the campus rec center, also formally known as "TRECS"... ready for this?

They need to have their staff erupt in a roaring round of applause whenever someone finishes a super-duper workout.

It couldn't cost them anything. I mean, there are always three or four folks just wandering around, wiping off equipment, changing trash bags, etc. What else do they have to do but stop once in a while and cheer for the Workout Warrior of the hour? (That's what they would call the person they're applauding)

The director of campus rec is a mild-mannered character. He's kind of like your 9th grade math teacher. Pretty straight-laced guy. Seems like he keeps in shape. Very businesslike. I think there's a personality there - in fact, I'm sure he's a great guy if you get to know him, but that would be a really interesting conversation. Here's how I imagine it:

Me: Rex! Hey, man. Glad I finally caught up with you!

Rex: How did you get in my off...

Me: Dude! I got this great idea for creating some energy in the gym!

Rex: I think you need to submit a...

Me: Workout Warriors, man! Every hour, the staff picks a Workout Warrior and celebrates to show their support.

Rex: This is ridiculous, why do we...

Me: Think of the energy, the motivational value, the ATMOSPHERE!

Rex: We have personal trainers for...

Me: I'll just go round up the staff to present it to them...

Rex: I'm going to have to call...

Me (from down the hall): Can't wait to get started!

I'm not making any more excuses for the most recent hiatus. I'll just sum up what's been going on since I last checked in. No more excuses. Not gonna talk about how "life got in the way" or "more important things came up". 'Cause that's just not true.

The last couple of weeks have seen their share of "highs" and "lows". Mainly, though, there were alot of "lows". I couldn't write. I didn't want to write.

Two weeks ago Monday, I had a chip on my shoulder. A score to settle. I'd put myself through a pretty good workout regimen, and that darned scale had the nerve to tell me I'd only taken off a half-pound. Seriously? I'd taken off a half-pound before I ever got in the shower that morning, even before I sweated for 30 minutes in the gym. That half-pound was somewhere in the city sewer system by now. That was just crap.

So I got mad. I proceeded to abuse that poor elliptical machine as if it were an object. And then I had the nerve to taunt it publicly.

I think the extreme aggression motivating me led to severe burnout. Good description here of exactly what that looks like. There was one day - just prior to Halloween - when I mounted the God-Forsaken Exercise Bike and experienced (appropriately enough) a strange feeling of dread and desperation. After five minutes, I just got up and walked away, disgusted and dismayed.

In the midst of the despair, there was a bright spot. The day after the epic fail with the exercise bike, I participated in my first Level 7 intensity workout so far. It was truly Murderiffic. Let me pause and tell you about a fantastic resource for anyone in the Knoxville area.

I was invited to a free, no-strings-attached, group workout at a local gym called CrossFit Ktown by the same buddy who first prompted me to coin the word, "Murderiffic". The philosophy behind CrossFit is very individual-centered, very holistic, and time-efficient. You're trying to get the most all-around fitness for your time, in other words.

There was a diverse group of around 15-20 in attendance, about equally male/female, from teenage through gray hair. I could tell I was easily in the bottom three, as far as aerobic conditioning goes. The workout seemed generalized enough, and customizable enough, that anyone could benefit. The pre-workout warm-up was hard enough, and by the time the actual workout started, I felt like I probably could have quit and called it a legitimate Level 4 workout. But the actual workout couldn't have lasted much more than 10-15 minutes. In the long run, it probably didn't do a whole lot for my overall fitness as much as it boosted my confidence and motivation. But it was a free sample, after all.

The Sunday morning workout with Personal Trainer Buddy a few weeks ago was really hard. Let's be clear. It was a strong Level 6. But that was mostly him pushing me to do my best. I think what pushed this to a Level 7 intensity was the presence of - and competition with - others who were clearly in better shape than me, and who I had no business competing with in the first place.

So that workout had me pretty much on Cloud Nine. That was Saturday. Sunday was Halloween. There's where things went awry. First there was the spontaneous decision to join friends at the Chinese Buffet. If you're following along, this was both completely devastating and completely predictable. A grave weakness of mine. Then, there was pizza on Halloween night. Not just pizza, but cheesesticks too. Not just pizza and cheesesticks, but garlic-butter sauce. Oh - and tortilla chips with cheese dip. More food than I could accurately remember to record in my diet log. Really, all of my memories of Halloween night seem to dissolve into a haze of cheesy goodness.

Remember Monday? The part where I weigh in? That part comes next.

The verse tabbed Galatians 6:7 in the King James Version of the Holy Bible includes the commonly referenced passage, "...whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." What I reaped on that day, after practically 24 hours of straight-up sin, was a three-and-a-half pound gain on the scale.

I'm flat-out bummed at this point. What am I doing? Did I just erase my last two weeks of effort? Why am I even trying? What is the point? Am I already too old for a serious attempt at weight loss? Who's gonna notice if I just stop doing this? Why am I thinking in italics?

Needless to say, it was a trying couple of weeks. I continued working out - even had some really good, Level 6 workouts. It wasn't like before. I had to endure two or three days of malaise before I could build up enough anger at myself to go do it again. It was a love-hate relationship with exercise. It was classic burnout.

One day last week, I got up, did my usual routine, and left for the gym. Only, I didn't make it to the gym. I stopped about a half-mile from my house, detoured, and went to the grocery store instead.

I like the grocery store. Some folks look at grocery shopping like I look at mowing the lawn. I view grocery shopping as not only an educational activity, but a form of entertainment. I get a kick out of comparing coffee brands by price per ounce. There's a special thrill involved in finding a close-out on that brand of deodorant I've been eyeing. I like daydreaming about what I could possibly do with the weekly meat specials, discovering yet-unknown values in the obscure corners of the organic foods section. Yes, if you didn't already know... I have a few quirks.

Some readers have stressed to me the importance of protein recently, and another comment I received questioned the wisdom of the four-bacon-strip breakfast. So my diversion... err, mission quickly became a quest for more breakfast variety. Something outside the usual fatty bacon/sausage, cholesterol-laden eggs, or bland oatmeal. I found a couple of things.

One breakthrough discovery I made was Turkey Spam. You're thinking, "Spam = fake meat. That can't be good." I'm telling you it's perfect. Alot of folks eat turkey bacon as an alternative to pork bacon, but the two bacons are deceptively similar. If you examine the packaging carefully and compare apples-to-apples, the nutritional difference is minimal. Turkey bacon may take out some fat, but it also takes out a comparable amount of protein. So you have to eat twice as much turkey bacon to get the same protein as pork bacon. Turkey Spam has nearly three times the protein per fat gram as turkey bacon and nearly four times that of pork bacon or breakfast sausage. So just call me Sir Spam-a-lot.

And Egg Beaters. Call me crazy, I had a misconception that this stuff was "fake egg". But looking at the package - it's really just egg whites with some food coloring and some natural flavorings to compensate for the extraction of yolk. You get most of the protein, none of the fat, and none of the cholesterol.

The other great breakfast idea I got was smoothies. I bought a ton of fruit from the frozen food section. Pineapple and coconut with a dash of lime juice for a pina colada smoothie. Mango and peaches for a tropical fruit smoothie. Strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries for a mixed berry smoothie. Banana to blend with any of the above. And low-fat vanilla yogurt to provide the "smooth". To top it all off, I got some soy/whey protein powder, which thickens the drink and adds 25 grams of protein per serving - or the amount in about three servings of Turkey Spam. Now if only I can find a way to work coffee into my smoothies somehow.

With another weigh-in approaching on Monday, I got up the resolve to get back in the gym on Saturday. A three-and-a-half pound gain was bad enough. Another gain would just put me back where I started five weeks ago, and realistically, it would probably just end this thing altogether. The blog would perish. I'd lose out on all those AdSense bucks and most important I'd be publicly humiliated. How's that for motivation? I worked out pretty hard three days in a row.

Got back on the scale Monday. Hoping to break even. What happened next? Just an eight-and-a-half pound loss last week, is all.

Turns out, the three-and-a-half pound gain was probably a fluke. My theory is water retention - most likely due to all the sodium in the Chinese, pizza, and cheese dip from Halloween. That should have tempered my dismal outlook from the start, but I was only looking for immediate gratification.

For two weeks, I only saw the numbers -0.5 and +3.5, but the last weigh-in tells the rest of the story - it puts me at over five pounds in the last three weeks. Net weight loss to date: 12 pounds in 5 weeks.

Lesson here: weight loss is a long-term commitment - a lifestyle change, not a video game. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Maybe I really ought to weigh in monthly - rather than weekly - for the most accurate results. But then what kind of drama would I blog about?

From here on, there's no looking back. No excuses. If I fall behind on blogging, I'm not gonna stress over keeping all my logs up to date, or thinking of what to write next. This is supposed to be fun, or it won't have legs.

And no more threats, grudges, or vendettas. Let's keep our cool. 30 by 30 doesn't do angry rants at itself anymore. No more "hulking out". Let's just keep a steady pace and push through any setbacks, starting right back where we left off. No need to make up for lost time. No more empty promises at all.

I guarantee.

TUESDAY 11/9/10 DIET LOG:

9:00 a.m. huge, under-400 calorie omelet... three servings Egg Beaters, 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella, one serving Turkey Spam, cubed, 1/4 of a medium onion, and about two cups fresh, shredded leaf spinach (it cooks down)

12:00 p.m. large salad with about two cups fresh spinach, 1/2 cup dried cranberries, 1/4 cup crushed pralines, 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese, and one tablespoon balsamic vinaigrette dressing

4:30 p.m. meal at work - "chicken 'n waffles" - three chicken strips, one mini-waffle (2-3 oz), one tablespoon maple syrup

TUESDAY 11/9/10 WORKOUT:

Equipment: sneakers, football stadium

Length: about 20 minutes

Intensity (1 to 7): 5

Exercise: jogged 1/2 mile from my house to high school football stadium, did 15 flat-footed hops up the bleachers, jogged once around the bleachers, jogged once around the 1/4 mile track, did 15 more hops, jogged once more around the bleachers, jogged 1/2 mile home. No rest. Total jogging about 1 1/2 miles.