Winning

Hey blogosphere!

Since we last tuned in, the Crawler has become known as the Toddler, the restaurant is now the ex-employer, and I've seen the inside of the campus rec center about three times. The Virus-of-the-Month subscription has been arriving steadily without fail, and I'm about to add the letters "MS" to my name. After, not before. All of a sudden, I've run into some free time.

The Crawler is now the Toddler

So I've been doing some reading. Mostly career guidance stuff. But I don't think I'm really looking for career guidance so much as tiny bits of wisdom that I can put into practice here or there.

One of the books was actually an audiobook by Stephen Covey of "7 Habits" fame. Another was an older book with really bad advice on investing but some creative advice on positive thinking. The other day, I stumbled on an excerpt from an upcoming book by the guy who created a semi-satirical blog called "Stuff Christians Like". I'm not sold on the author or the book, but reading between the lines, there was some good stuff there.

Covey talks alot about purpose and focusing on ways to make contributions somehow, even if they seem insignificant. The investment book offered ways to create opportunities from losses. This book excerpt I read the other day made a point about discipline and focus being contagious.

Unlike Charlie Sheen, I'm still not sure how to get a warlock brain, tiger blood, or fire-breathing fists. But these things I've read in the past couple of months all point toward "winning". All the time. No matter what.

So I'm gonna try to put wisdom into practice by entering a weight loss competition with The Wife and some friends. It's guys versus girls, naturally, in a four-on-four couples' challenge. 12 weeks - highest team percentage of weight lost wins. Yeah, kinda like Biggest Loser, except without the hot Hollywood trainers screaming obscenities down your neck. Credit for this contest format goes to our friends, The Armstrongs.

The first week's results: Women 1.7%, Men 2.0%.

Winning - it's not just for breakfast anymore.

Pardon the Construction

Please excuse the apparent lack of progress on the blog. Currently, I am in the process of bringing you a better "me". For the wrap-up entry to the first chapter of 30 by 30, please click here.

Thanks,

K-love

Editor's note on pirates:

Pirates are legendary. We all know pirates have eye patches and curvy swords. Occasionally, they have wooden legs. The older ones at least. Some have a talking parrot. Some are cursed. Most are really, really dumb. They salute the Jolly Roger, plunder coastal villages, hijack merchant ships, and make you walk the plank. Not the most well-behaved individuals.

The thing about pirates that unites them - that separates them from the landlubbers - is their love for what they do.

Think about this: what do pirates do with all of that booty? Are they ever in need of money? NO! They take what they need and burn the rest. Could they even spend it if they wanted to? Well, if gold doubloons are an accepted form of currency in your country, I suppose it's possible. But the authorities would be instantly notified and they'd be locked up. Do they invest it in their 401k? Only if there's a desert island nearby paying more than 3.5% interest.

Pirates never retire and stop being pirates. That wouldn't make sense to them. Meanwhile, the landlubbers are all safe in their villages, running the rat race, just trying to produce and thrive like good citizens. But the same authorities who would lock up the pirates in a heartbeat are constantly oppressing and taxing the snot out of the villagers. They'll never be able to stop working and enjoy life.

So, instead of going to work one day, a young, idealistic landlubber says, "To heck with this!" He dons a black cap, a vest, and a pair of baggy pants and sets sail to live out his dream.

The point is, pirates aren't really after the gold doubloons or the fancy trinkets or the pieces of eight. They're loving the work more than the finished product.

There, I said it. Now, go be a pirate.

A Pirate Looks At 30

Let's just go ahead and get this out in the open. Clear the air.

I failed. Big time.

No two ways about it. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, whitewash it, or gloss over it. I'm not even gonna spend any more time on cliches to tell you that I'm not gonna try to hide it.

I didn't want to write this entry. I mean, I REALLY didn't want to write it. Failure's not fun. Failure is something reserved for others. Others without ambition, others without experience, and others without support.

But the brutal reality is that I had all those things, and I still failed. So in times like these, when I'm most confused, I start to get all analytical. I've gotta take a step back from the situation and try to figure out what's really going on here. What am I missing?

Other people have lost weight. Lots of it. I've seen it happen. People close to me. People I never would have suspected. People who had way more to lose than me - way more reason to give up before they even started. What did they have that I don't? What is wrong with me? What is it that makes me inadequate to do something as mathematically simple as burning more calories than I consume?

After some soul-searching, it seems to me that I've forgotten how to win. A winner requires self-confidence. Something bolder than bravado and more down-to-earth than humility. I haven't won much of anything in a while. But maybe I haven't won because I haven't wanted to win.

To recap: In the beginning of October, I had a vision. I would be turning 30 years old, and I didn't want to leave the 20s on a bad note. Something particularly disturbing me lately was weight gain. I was slightly obese for the first time in my adult life. So I set out to lose 30 pounds by my 30th birthday.

Lots of enthusiasm went into the first few weeks. I counted calories, I rated my workouts, and I constantly imagined ways to motivate myself. Starting with writing this blog.

I sustained a shoulder injury early on, but I plugged right along. One thing I really struggled with was sickness. Ever since the Preschooler started preschool in the fall, I feel like we've subscribed to the Virus-of-the-Month Club. I mean, it's literally something new every month. That helped me limit my calories at first, because I just didn't feel like eating much of anything. But it also gave me a convenient excuse to stay home much of the time instead of going to the gym.

Then, there were the holidays. Thanksgiving Day was a bummer, but from Black Friday until Christmas, I limped back into form and at least maintained an equilibrium. Then, the sedentary traditions of Christmastime caught up to me, and ruined me for a few more weeks.

Despite a deafening silence on the blog, I will say that a week or two of good progress has been made, but it hasn't been nearly enough to counteract the inconsistency and downright indifference that have marked the second six weeks of 30 by 30 so far. End of recap.

"Commit to the work, not the goal."

This is an idea that worked its way through my mind the past couple of weeks, and ultimately found its best expression in two brief entries by a blogger I occasionally follow named Donald Miller. A complement to this idea, and one that answered the question, "What am I missing?" can be found in Don's blog entry for today: "Love the actual work, not the finished product."

And how suitable that this second blog entry by someone I've never met, on a topic I've been ruminating over all month long, I should encounter on the day I turn 30 years old. The day I set forth 17 weeks ago as the ultimate deadline - the culmination of four months of striving and anxiety and disappointment.

By the way - speaking of the deadline - I guess it'd be anticlimactic not to reveal the results of the 30 by 30 weight loss. So here goes...

Four pounds. I lost four pounds. That's one pound per month, if you're following along at home.

Things are still looking up, even if the results to date aren't. I'm actually doing pretty good with the process lately. Now that school's back in session, there's more of a sense of commitment and routine that I was missing over the holidays. I've got this nifty Google Calendar to keep all of my commitments in perspective, and that helps with organization and the wise use of time. And The Wife is going to be participating with me in the area of eating healthier. That's why I am still committed to continuing the blog - and why I insisted on writing today.

So contrary to popular belief, 30 by 30 hasn't gone away. It lives on. And while the process may be more important than the goal, the name of the blog has to continue to mean something.

Maybe the 30-year mark has passed me by, but I've still got my waist. And my inseam. And those both need to be 30 inches. OK, I can't really do anything about my inseam. I'm 5'8", for cryin' out loud. But the new 30 by 30 will be about loving the work, not the finished product. Just don't ask me to put on a pair of jeans any time soon.

The Final Countdown

I've got a bone to pick.

Not a ham bone or a turkey bone, thank goodness. Not a funny bone, either. And not a Thugs-N-Harmony Bone, for what it's worth.

I already picked this bone with someone on Facebook this morning, but apparently I wasn't satisfied. So I'll pick it again here on the blog...

After working at the restaurant last night, I got home just in time to watch the fourth quarter of the Franklin American Mortgage Company Music City Bowl last night, between the North Carolina Tarheels and my beloved Tennessee Volunteers.

My Vols were winning the game by three points when time expired on the game clock. They won the game. Then, all of a sudden, they didn't.

Apparently, the Christmas Spirit was still hard at work in Nashville last night, because one of the officiating crew was feeling mighty charitable. In an astounding show of goodwill, North Carolina received a free try at a field goal, which they kicked successfully. The tied game went into overtime.

I'll spare you the rest of the details of the game, but the end result was most unfortunate, from where I was sitting.

Through the television set, I was fed the following rationale for the bizarre, unlikely turn of events that took place at the end of the fourth quarter: On the last play before time expired, the officials said after reviewing a video replay, the clock should have been stopped with one second remaining in the game.

When I officiated HS football three or four years ago, one of the jobs in the officiating crew, in addition to the striped guys you see out on the field, was clock operator. Starting and stopping the clock were that person's only functions. And both were done using the same button. Easy enough.

I was told in my very first game as clock operator that the cardinal rule of being clock operator, no matter what happened on the field, was that you never, ever, ever stop the clock leaving only one second at the end of a half. Just let it run out. This is justified in the high school football rule book because it says the clock operator must be given a "reasonable amount of time" to react to the other officials' signals at the end of a play. So the span of one second is generally considered within the margin of human error - a margin too insignificant to expect the person operating the clock to account for every single time the clock is started or stopped.

As it was explained to me, the main reason for this rule is avoiding the type of hysterical ending that played out last night - people leaving and/or rushing onto the field, and then having to be ushered off or called back on before resuming the last play of the game. The crew simply wouldn't insist on holding itself responsible for a game that was complete. Zero on the clock meant the game result was final.

A side effect of this rule was that it allowed the crew to initiate their "escape plan" the moment the game became finalized. They actually had a mapped-out scheme, kinda like a fire escape plan, where the officials were able to be in the same vehicle heading off-campus within seconds of the last tick, and they went over the plan together before each game. So they kinda knew two seconds before everyone else that the game was over, and could maybe get a head start on the unruly mob coming after them for all the other bad calls.

All that said, I'm a little miffed because in sports, "final" is supposed to be "final". Not, "let's go back after it's final and look at the tape to make sure it was really final." If the game isn't finalized after time expires, then when do you draw the line? Seven minutes later? 25 minutes? Could the officials have waited until this morning to call the teams back to the stadium and replay the last second of regulation time? Maybe next week they could make the trip back to Nashville?

2010 is just about final. If the year were 60 minutes long, I imagine we'd be in the last second or two as I write this. I'm gonna

go ahead and consider it 2011 at this point, because unlike the Franklin American Mortgage Company Music City Bowl officials, I can't go back and fix the mistakes I made in 2010. You can only leave them behind you.

People make New Year's resolutions with a mind to change something about themselves in the future. Thinking about the future is good. Studies in sport psychology have shown that constantly visualizing yourself performing something well can lead to better actual performance when it counts.

But what if the word "resolution" took on a slightly different meaning? Let's look at the word "resolve". To resolve to do something (like lose weight) is to make up your mind - to leave no doubt. But to resolve a problem or situation is also to bring about a suitable ending. The first definition - the one folks use most often around this time of year - looks optimistically toward the future, but the second one focuses more realistically on the past and the present.

In past blog entries I've played down the use of strict principles and bold proclamations as motivation. So, I'm gonna go with the second type of resolution this year. I've decided I can make up my mind as many times as I want - I can make myself a new promise after every weekend, or at the beginning of every month. It may be the surest thing I've ever felt. But chances are, I'm gonna feel zero confidence at some point in the future. Will that promise alone be enough?

I picked up alot of bad habits in 2009 and 2010. General laziness, for one. And procrastination. And lack of organization. Knowing and staying aware of your weaknesses is a great first step in resolving them.

So instead of reaching for something in the future, I'm gonna try to leave some things in the past. When 2010 goes final, I'll have lived and learned quite a good deal for one year. What more suitable ending to 2010 than to completely leave it behind, and to use those lessons learned to my advantage in 2011?

And maybe next year, at the 2011 Franklin American Mortgage Company Music City Bowl, they can bring the teams back and finally finish the game that never should have ended last night.

Handing Out Grades

Yesterday being the last day of school here in Knox County, time to do some evaluation and give out grades to some deserving recipients!

Grad School: B+

Nobody likes homework, but fortunately the one course I took this semester was light on assignments, and I got an 'A'. Good thing too, 'cause in the process I think I came down with senioritis all over again. Eh, it's almost over anyway. Working with the athletic department's been a blast, too.

Fine dining in Knoxville: D

It doesn't really exist. Oh sure, there's plenty of dining. I think, at one point, we even held the national title for most restaurants per capita - maybe we still have it. But there's nothing fine about dining out when the next table over is chasing a three-year-old around the table or complaining about how "them dang ole dawgs is back agin".

Campus Rec Center: C

It's got all the basics. Nothin' fancy. Parking's sometimes a problem, and the hours are a little inconvenient sometimes. They tend to cut back the open hours every time there's a break in classes, which is generally when I have the most time to spend. Tons of equipment and resources though. I only wish they provided towel service and soap/shampoo dispensers in the showers like some of the commercial rec centers I've used.

CrossFit K-Town: A+

Haven't been back since my first trip a couple months ago. But I sure need to go again. Their free Saturday morning workout is the best thing going in town, as far as fitness.

Thanksgiving: F

Spent the whole day, around 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., working at the restaurant. Not voluntarily, either. I told one of the customers that, too.

Black Friday: D

Overrated. I don't care if they're selling TV's at 60% off. I can't believe there are that many folks out there who prefer electronics and hours of waiting in line to sleep. And I didn't even get to pound anyone.

The Internet: C+

Not sure what it's good for, besides playing games and funny videos. It's amusing sometimes, but it seems to take up way too much of my time. Gave it a plus because of the blog, Wikipedia, and IMDB.com.

Snow: B+

Two wintry storms last week. One left an inch of snow, the other dumped ice. Neither stuck around for more then 24 hours, but I'm grading easy this time, since it technically wasn't winter until yesterday. Got outside and spent a solid 30-45 minutes pulling the Preschooler around the yard in a saucer sled. She wanted to go fast downhill... and uphill too. Got in my workout for the day.

My Fantasy Football teams, "The Ron Mexico Show" and "Legend of Ron Mexico": A

It's taken the better part of my restraint not to bring up fantasy football until this far into the blog. I've only referenced football in general briefly once or twice. That's the kind of willpower 30 by 30 is all about. But I'm only human. My two teams went a combined 20-6 during the season, and two or three of those losses came at the end, with nothing left to play for. My better team plays for the championship this week, and the other is still alive for 5th place after giving up a huge lead in a last-second playoff loss.

And last, but practically least... Me: C+

This grade is composed of three categories.

Exercise: C

My exercise routine started with a bang, but hasn't been the best part of my 30 by 30 campaign lately. Last week was a better one, but I went about three weeks there without doing much of anything, in terms of exercise.

Diet: B+

At one point, I stopped keeping exact count of calories, and maybe that was a mistake. Despite not logging them on the blog, I started counting again. Just haven't been able to write enough to justify typing it all out. So far, diet has been my strong point in this amateur weight loss project. I've got a real weakness for fried stuff, pizza, and fatty meats, but fortunately I don't have much of a sweet tooth and I've been able to mostly refrain from overeating.

Hydration: D

This is a problem, I'm sure. I was completely neglecting water for the first few weeks. When I got sick last month, I re-acquainted myself with sports drinks, and although I'm probably more hydrated now, they've also got alot of sugar. I'm in the process of weaning myself by going to diet sport drinks, and hopefully that'll make it easier to remember to drink water instead.

I've kinda put myself in a corner. I'm down to the final six weeks here, and I've got 16 pounds left to lose. It's gonna take an 'A' or 'B+' effort from here on.

WEDNESDAY 12/22/10 DIET LOG:

9:00 a.m. one "everything" bagel from Panera Bread, with about two tablespoons Smart Balance Light 400 calories

Christmas is All Around Me

That's not a photo of me blogging this morning on a typewriter. It's a screenshot I ripped from the Christmas classic, Love Actually. The Wife and I, like many others, made this flick our holiday couples' tradition a few years ago.

If you haven't seen the movie, you probably avoided it intentionally, because of the "chick flick" stigma that comes with romantic comedies. Someone's probably recommended it, and you've just smiled and nodded graciously. Seeing Hugh Grant and/or Colin Firth on the cover of any movie seems to cause me to do the same.

But it's an all-star cast with an amazing patchwork-style script (think Crash, Pulp Fiction, Magnolia, minus the violence) and a brilliantly navigated soundtrack. It's rated R, for nudity, sexuality, and language, and it deserves the rating. But this is one of the rarer-than-rare times that my disdain for romantic British hunks and The Wife's sensitivity to R-rated material are both easily pushed aside, and we can agree perfectly on a movie.

Just go rent it. Or steal it. Or come borrow my copy, if you like. After Wednesday, that is. That's the night we plan to watch it.

Not trying to write a movie review here... I leave that to the good folks over at Knoxfilmjunkie.com. Only wanted to throw up that timely reminder of the looming holiday deadline, so that I could awkwardly segue into what I wanted to talk about today.

The mail usually runs slow around this time of year, and perhaps my slacker brain cell has gotten the best of me and caused me to wait too long. But it's time, if not past time, to send out Christmas cards. And what better Christmas cards to send out than free ones?!

My friends the MCB's turned me on to this promotion at Shutterfly.com. Since I have a blog (sometimes), I was able to sign up to get some free stuff by writing about their products.

Typically, when we send out cards, The Wife chooses two or three and I make the final decision. But this year, it's the other way around. In the spirit of the promotion, I've selected three possible themes for this year's cards, and they're all inspired by 30 by 30. And we're putting photos of the girls on the cards, so wanted a design to reflect that, and have room for at least 2 pics.

The finalists (in no particular order, and each pic links back to product details on Shutterfly):

I found this one and immediately thought... Lists!

The banner in the middle of this card caught my eye. It looked delicious. Reminded me of chocolate. Then I saw the title of the design: "Sweet Chocolate". Duh. How appropriate for a blog about diet and weight loss. Speaking of chocolate, The Wife made Kahlua fudge yesterday. There just might be a connection here.

I looked, but couldn't find an Asian-themed card, so I reached a little bit.

The "Back"ground of this card is Black. Get it? Back... in... Black?

Now that I've fulfilled my obligations to my sponsor, feel free to click over to Shutterfly and buy stuff. And The Wife will probably read the comments below, so if you want to, you can try and influence the final decision.

I went to the mall yesterday. Not on my own behalf, but running some errands for others (I'm the charitable sort). Made some observations, though, while I was there:

1. Some people at the mall seem perfectly willing to just walk right into you, if you don't alter your path first, before the collision occurs. This happens way too often for comfort.
2. Must be awesome to be one of those old folks, just sittin' away the hours in those comfy chairs at the entrances to the mall. I'm not being sarcastic this time. That really looks awesome. What I don't like is when the chairs are coin-operated massage chairs and they're not on. What if I want a mall-chair massage? "Excuse me, sir? If you're not gonna turn that chair on, would you mind sitting over there?"
3. Those folks standing at the kiosks in the medians must be seasonally out-of-work carnival workers. They're gonna get your attention one way or another. The only way to escape being pitched their miracle cosmetics or made-in-Afghanistan trinkets is to look straight ahead, don't make eye contact, just keep on walking...
4. How cleverly inconvenient of them to put the registers all the way in the back of the store.
5. Now, the mall cops are on wheels. Not golf carts, or bikes, or even rollerblades. I'm talking about some kind of Jetsons-lookin' two-wheel hovercraft thing straight from the movie Total Recall - or maybe one of those Stallone sci-fi's.
6. There's a space in a food court in every mall in America claiming it sells "Cajun" food. Except every single one is run by people of Asian heritage, and every one sells food suspiciously identical to your local Chinese buffet. Bourbon Chicken? Or Honey Chicken? I guess they figured out you can sell twice as much Asian food if you sell it from opposite sides of the food court and call one side something else. "Cajun" just happened to rhyme with "Asian".
   
7. My favorite store in the mall, by far, is Williams-Sonoma. I could easily spend a million dollars in there, and after that bought me a coffeemaker, I could probably spend a million more.

I'm gonna be late for work.

9:00 a.m. 2 eggs, scrambled, one bacon strip, 1 small bran muffin with butter 350 calories

1:30 p.m. ate about 4 oz of a 6 oz portion of homemade chicken lasagna, small salad with Honey Bacon French dressing 500 calories

NO WORKOUT SATURDAY 12/11/10